So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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