Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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