You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
