I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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