I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
