Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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