i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
