Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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