I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
