He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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