I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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