I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
where are my eyebrows?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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