so explain again why im purple
no
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
