I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
