I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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