You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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