I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
