Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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