As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
