It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
