i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
not ubering you a puppy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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