bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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