He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
