This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
