Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
