i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
