I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
