White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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