My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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