I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
