she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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