i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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