Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
