Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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