PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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