i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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