chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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