i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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