this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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