Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize