Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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