you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
