areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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