I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize