Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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