Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
