I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
this hospital has no fireball
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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