i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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