I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
