We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
