Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
