Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
