i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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