Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
