i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
