sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
