I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
