You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The power of my boobs compel you
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
