whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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